Do You Remember the Time?

A lot has happened recently. 4 celebrities have died: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays. It's so fucking weird! I haven't really seen Ed McMahon's work, but I loved Farrah Fawcett in Charlie's Angels. : ( Out of these 4 deaths, the death of Michael Jackson shocked me the most. Fawcett had been sick for quite a while; everyone expected her to die soon. But no one expected the King of Pop to die at such a young age (he was only 50!). Even though he was sort of before my time, I LOVE LOVE LOVE his music. In memory of Michael Jackson MTV has been showing his music videos non-stop. I LOVE IT. I wish MTV was like it was in the 80's (when it just showed music videos). I hate most of the shows that come on MTV now. I can stomach The Real World, but every other show is just lame. It's sad that it takes the death of a famous person for MTV to revert back to its roots...

I found out today that my move in date is the 25th (not the 15th). : ( I don't know why I thought the 15th. I guess I got the first number in the dates mixed up. Oh, well. I think my mom is going to let me move down on the 15th anyway, so I can start looking for a job. She said that I can load up everything I can in my car, then her and my step-dad will take my bed (and whatever else won't fit in my car) down to San Marcos on the 25th. So, yay! Still only 16 more days!!!

The 4th of July is coming. In Snyder that means a huge carnival in the park. It's sort of the one big thing that happens in this town ... that's sort of sad. I usually am SO excited about the carnival. Everyone goes to it, but this year I'm just not feeling the carnival. Perhaps it's because I have no friends to go with, or the fact that the rides are EXPENSIVE. I think I may go with my dad and his side of the family for the 4th. They're gonna just hang out in Ft. Worth. Hmm...?

I've started listening to my Batboy: The Musical recording more, (that's the musical that Texas State is doing this fall) and the music is really growing on me! It's really fun. It's sort of a rock opera. : ) I really don't see a role that I could play, but it will be a fun show to watch. And who knows? Maybe I could pull off one of the roles... ; )

I made 110 dollars at work on Thursday ... : )
then I made only 16 dollars at work on Friday (in 4 fucking hours) ...
Oh, the life of being a waiter.

Speaking of which, I have 600 bucks saved up! YAY! I should have more saved up, but I spent probably close to 100 when I went to San Marcos on food and gas. Not to mention ... smokes and Miller Lite add up ... : (

I think this is the longest blog I've ever written . Right on!

Serious diet starts tomorrow. I know that I say that every week, but I'm serious now. I want to look good for auditions in August. I have 2 months. If I do it healthily, (is that a word?) I can lose 2 pounds a week and still lose my 16 pounds that I want to lose. : )
Wish me luck.

I've also given up smoking, too. It won't be so bad as long as I'm in Snyder, but I have a feeling that as soon as I move back to San Marcos, I'll pick up the addicting habit. I have too many friends there that smoke. Oh, well. I just want to be able to run again. If I can get to the point where I can run AND smoke, that's great. : )

OK. Time for bed. It's almost 4 A.M. Fml.

Nite, nite.

Without you.

Without you, the ground thaws
the rain falls
the grass grows

Without you, the seeds root
the flowers bloom
the children play

The stars gleam
the poets dream
the eagles fly
without you

The Earth turns
the sun burns
but I die, without you

Without you, the breeze warms
the girl smiles
the cloud moves

Without you, the tides change
the boys run
the oceans crash

The crowds roar
the days soar
the babies cry
without you

The moon glows
the river flows
but I die without you

The world revives
colors renew
but I know blue
only blue
lonely blue
willingly blue
Without you

Without you, the hand gropes
the ear hears
the pulse beats

Without you, the eyes gaze
the legs walk
the lungs breathe

The mind churns
the heart yearns
the tears dry without you

Life goes on
but I'm gone
'cause I die
without you...


Be depressed, or be hopeful and try to think positive thoughts (maybe denial)?

I guess think positive thoughts (maybe denial).
Anything's gotta be better than being depressed...

You Learn.

I just got home from S.M. What an interesting week I had ...

I was doing some thinking on the drive back to this hell hole, and though my summer really sucks, I've learned a lot this summer (about myself and life lessons from personal experiences and friends' experiences).

This may get long (just a warning).

- Snyder really is a sad, lame town...
- I have a huge heart.
- I don't love often, but when I do, I love hard (is that the right word?)
- The only person you can truly trust is yourself.
- I'm a good person (better than most people give me credit for).
- I was created to do something in the field of theatre.
- Everyone fucks up. No one is perfect. Even the "good" people fuck up hardcore sometimes.
- I have GREAT friends.
- Money goes away fast ... very fast.
- I'm addicted to cigarettes.
- Cheaters always get busted ... ALWAYS (advice - don't try it).
- I have an obsession with show tunes.
- Nothing makes me happier than a spotless and clean house.
- Snyder is no longer home now; San Marcos is home.
- I try not to be judgmental, but I have no respect for slutty people ...
- Do not leave laptops on floors where dogs can urinate on them ...
- Sleeping in helps makes days shorter ... time pass by.
- Blogging is EXTREMELY therapeutic.
- Trips back to San Marcos are relaxing.
- I abhor craigslist.org
- My mom is seriously psycho and needs help.
- Online classes are a pain in the ass, and I will never take one again.
- I have HUGE trust issues.
- I'm very non-confrontational.
- I'm a people pleaser.
- I really don't care what people think about me anymore.
- I suck at bingo.
- Cramming for a test the night before (in a summer course) is not wise and will result in an 82 (after 15 hours of studying?!?!??!?!)
- I suck at writing research papers ... and writing in general.
- Though I have great friends, I'm alone in this world. That's a scary, scary thought.
- I don't like my family, and I am probably going to hell for saying that. I'm a horrible son... haha.
- I've grown up A LOT. I'm a TOTALLY different person than I was a year ago. I'm glad, though. A change was needed.

There's probably more, but I'm tired of writing.

So, yeah. I've had the worst summer ever, but I've learned a few things.

Later, yo.

HOME.

I am home.

And drunk.

With my best friend.

I am the happiest I've been all summer.

:)

Online classes suck.

Seriously. I will never again take an online class. I really don't understand how my professor expects me to learn 400 pages worth of information in 2 weeks. It's everything from Columbus discovering the Americas to the end of Washington's second term.

My weekend consisted of a 4 page research paper and studying 10 hours for a history test.
FML.

But tomorrow I go home. YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!
:)
I can't wait. As soon as my audition's over on Tuesday, I'm grabbing some Garcia's.

And I think my friends are going to be getting back from South Africa on Tuesday. YAY.

YAY for friends, home, auditions and a break from this hell hole/school.

I could use another cigarette...

Sarah Bareilles = brilliance.
Thank you, Ms. B for being great. :)

I just saw that I'm on a website ... badass! :)

I think I'm in love with Karen Olivo. I bought the new cast recording of West Side Story the other day, and I noticed that a few of the songs were in Spanish (in particular "I Feel Pretty and "A Boy Like That"). After a little research, I saw that it was Olivo's idea to sing "A Boy Like That" in Spanish. In her eyes Anita (the character she plays) is all about Americanizing and changing/adapting to America's ways (the song "America!"). But when her boyfriend gets killed she sings "A Boy Like That" in Spanish as a way of reverting ... something like that. At the beginning of the play (and throughout most of the show) she speaks English, then when tragedy strikes she feels a certain hate towards the American people and reverts back to Spanish. I thought that was so cool and a smart choice as an actress. SO glad she won the Tony.

I wish I could fall asleep at a decent hour.

I thought I had more to blog about. Guess not.

Perhaps I was just bored and felt the need to blog. Whatev.

Night all!

Keep it positive!

A bitch friend of mine bitched at me to blog more, so here goes.

I love the person that I am now ... I just don't fit in in this town. Oh, well! I'm only here for 34 more days. :)

I listen to nothing, but mellow music and musicals now. Haha. LOVE IT.

Currently: Legally Blonde: The Musical. (Hence the title...)

I miss my bestie and other friends. I'm tired of drinking alone.

I have a research paper that's due in 4 days, and I don't know how to start! I have never really written a research paper in my life. How sad?! I got 6 hours of college credit (and now I don't have to take college writing) in high school, but I never wrote a research paper. BOO!

I made my theatre resume today. Yay!

OMG! I saw a preview for a new trashy reality show (that I'll prolly watch) on Bravo! It's called NYC Prep. It's about a bunch of rich teenagers in Prep school. HAHA. It did inspire me to eat healthier, though. The guys on that show wear nice clothes that I want to wear, and if these kids that are younger than me can wear them, I can too!!! It's so weird to watch shows now in which the bitchy teenagers are younger than me. For so long, those kids were always older than me (The OC, Laguna Beach, etc...) I'm getting old. Where's my cane?

My best friend is under a lot of stress. Send good thoughts to him. Most of you that read this know who that is, but to those of you that don't, just send good thoughts to Corey's best friend. :)

I miss last year. I refuse to be one of those kids that gets stuck in the past, but I dooooooooo miss last year.

4 Smirnoffs (that's all that was in my fridge - UGH! =() later ... tired.

Nighty night.

Life on the D-List

I've decided to no longer be bitchy and teen angst-y. It's unhealthy. So, only happy blogs from now on. :)

Wow. It's been a while. Lots to talk about...

First, let me say I love Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. My life will be complete when I meet the bitch. She's HILARIOUS. This episode has Bette Midler on it, too. I used to hate her (Bette) but she's starting to grow on me...

The Tony awards were Sunday night. They're always fun. There were A LOT of performances this year, though. As much as I love musical theatre, I'm not sure how I felt about having so many performances from the shows. The tours' performances (Legally Blonde, Mama Mia, Jersey Boys) were horrible. On another note I was so so so so so happy that Karen Olivo won for West Side Story. I loved her in In the Heights, and saw a clip of her singing "America!" on youtube. Brilliant. :)

I was so proud of the three 12 year olds that won, too. Yay for them.

My throat is killing me, and I couldn't talk yesterday. :/ I stopped smoking for an audition I have that's coming up ... maybe that's why ?

Speaking of ... I have an audition at Zach Scott at 7:31 P.M. on June 16th. I'm excited. It will be fun, and it will be GREAT to get out of this fucking town. YAY!!!

I totally bought the new Hair and West Side Story recordings. YAY!!!

OK, so I thought I had a lot to write about, but I'm coming to blanks now.

Peace.

No clue.

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I need my friends.
I need to be back home.

40 more fucking days.

Trust.

All I can do is trust that everything will be OK. I can do everything possible to insure that it will, but in the end I have to trust.

That's a very, very, very scary thing.

-------------------

I wish I had enough money to go see a therapist.

Weekend was lame.

I have an audition for a show in Austin in 2 weeks, though. Gives me something fun to work on (and it will help keep my mind off of things).

And my friend Adrianna is coming to visit me this weekend. Thank. God.

That's all, folks.