It's been so fucking long.

I'm so busy now.

Not a whole lot of time for blogging, but I will try to make one new post a week.

(keyword: try)

:)

I'll post tomorrow after classes ...

What am I? Some kind of show pony?

Wow. It's been a long, long, time. I'm now back in San Marcos! YAY! It feels so good to finally be back in my town with my friends. I feel so at home. Moving was such a bitch, and I never want to do it again. Lol. But I'm finally settled in! The apartment is still sort of bare, but it's coming together one piece at a time. :)

My friend (whom I haven't seen in 2 months) is coming to visit in a couple of days! Yay! I can't wait! Good times are to come.

House of Several Stories rehearsals are going great. There are SO MANY TALENTED people working on this project. We're about to start tech week. This show looks SO great, and I can't wait for opening night. I hope people appreciate it. To all Texas State students that saw it a year ago: It's now a COMPLETELY different show. So, come into it with a clear mind.

I've been trying to find a job for almost a week. NO success. BOO! I need money!

I feel like a grown up (sort of). Lol. This past week I signed a lease, moved into my first apartment, set up electricity (in MY name), and opened a bank account at Wells Fargo. I have a bank account in Snyder, but it's annoying to have money or get pay checks and have to 1) Keep cash on me or 2) send the money to my mom, so she can deposit it in my account. I hate both of those options, so I just opened a bank account in San Marcos since it's sort of where I live now.

*sigh*

Break is over. Back to rehearsal!

:)

See you soon, Kase. ;)

I'm Gonna' Make It Mine.

I really, really love Jason Mraz. I should have seen him in concert when I had the chance!

I'm sitting at a coffee shop in Snyder (taking a break from packing). Only one more day in Snyder, then I'm HOME. YES! Coffee+free internet+smokes+Mraz = Bliss (and perfect for blogging).

I'm so glad I moved away from this town. As I sit outside on this lovely evening, I see several people walk in and out of this local coffee shop. I know almost every single one of them, and they're doing NOTHING with their lives. BOO on them! I strive to be different...

OMG! I'm listening to the coffee shop's radio (which I think is Pandora) and a bad ass cover of The Cranberries' "Zombie" just came on. I wonder who it is ... superb!

My friend Tyler (Wesley's little brother) is now living in San Marcos, and he's a runner. He's going to force me to run 3 miles with him every day when I move back. FML.

I can't wait to start decorating the apartment! I'm definitely going to have to look for cheap stuff, but hopefully I can get some nice looking shanans for cheap!

I'm sipping on an empty iced coffee, and it's making that funny slurpy sound. I feel like Nancy Botwin from Weeds. HAHAHA!

Eh. I suppose it's time for me to pack up and head home. The coffee shop closes up at 10. Yes, I know, that's so early. This whole fucking town closes down at 10. LAME!

Peace easy, suckers.

90210.

Short blog, again.

I think that since my summer in this hell hole (Snyder) is almost over, a lot of my blogs are going to be short-ish.

I decided that I was totally born in the wrong decade. I have (very) few friends that are my own age, and the ones that I do have are mature for their ages. All of my friends are older than me, but somehow, I have a lot in common with them. I'm obsessed with 80's music, and I'm watching old episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 (which I have on DVD). HA! Oh, well.

That's it.

Back to 90210 and Miller Lite.

It's Been A While!!!

Sorry. It's been quite a while.

I've been without a laptop for the last week. I sent it off to Dell (I think it was in Houston???) to be repaired. They replaced my screen (which had been peed on), keyboard, and a lot of other stuff. It's practically brand new! Yay.

Not in the mood to blog, really.

But ... I GO HOME IN 3 DAYS!!!

I'm Yours.

Oh, my. It's been a while! Let's see ...

Last weekend (4th of July), I went to Ft. Worth. My whole side of my dad's family lives in the DFW area, so I went to spend time with them. It was my little cousin's birthday, so there were a TON of little kids there. I think they got me sick. I feel like crap. Feels like I have some sort of head cold or something. Headache, ears and nose are stopped up, throat hurts. BOO!

I have one more week in this town, and then I get to move home. I can't wait. I started packing already. : )

I worked 9 hours yesterday. 9 hours of waiting tables = o.my.fucking.god. I made good money, but 9 hours waiting tables is just too, too much. Not to mention ... I only had a one hour break.

I love Jason Mraz radio.

That's it, folks.

Do You Remember the Time?

A lot has happened recently. 4 celebrities have died: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays. It's so fucking weird! I haven't really seen Ed McMahon's work, but I loved Farrah Fawcett in Charlie's Angels. : ( Out of these 4 deaths, the death of Michael Jackson shocked me the most. Fawcett had been sick for quite a while; everyone expected her to die soon. But no one expected the King of Pop to die at such a young age (he was only 50!). Even though he was sort of before my time, I LOVE LOVE LOVE his music. In memory of Michael Jackson MTV has been showing his music videos non-stop. I LOVE IT. I wish MTV was like it was in the 80's (when it just showed music videos). I hate most of the shows that come on MTV now. I can stomach The Real World, but every other show is just lame. It's sad that it takes the death of a famous person for MTV to revert back to its roots...

I found out today that my move in date is the 25th (not the 15th). : ( I don't know why I thought the 15th. I guess I got the first number in the dates mixed up. Oh, well. I think my mom is going to let me move down on the 15th anyway, so I can start looking for a job. She said that I can load up everything I can in my car, then her and my step-dad will take my bed (and whatever else won't fit in my car) down to San Marcos on the 25th. So, yay! Still only 16 more days!!!

The 4th of July is coming. In Snyder that means a huge carnival in the park. It's sort of the one big thing that happens in this town ... that's sort of sad. I usually am SO excited about the carnival. Everyone goes to it, but this year I'm just not feeling the carnival. Perhaps it's because I have no friends to go with, or the fact that the rides are EXPENSIVE. I think I may go with my dad and his side of the family for the 4th. They're gonna just hang out in Ft. Worth. Hmm...?

I've started listening to my Batboy: The Musical recording more, (that's the musical that Texas State is doing this fall) and the music is really growing on me! It's really fun. It's sort of a rock opera. : ) I really don't see a role that I could play, but it will be a fun show to watch. And who knows? Maybe I could pull off one of the roles... ; )

I made 110 dollars at work on Thursday ... : )
then I made only 16 dollars at work on Friday (in 4 fucking hours) ...
Oh, the life of being a waiter.

Speaking of which, I have 600 bucks saved up! YAY! I should have more saved up, but I spent probably close to 100 when I went to San Marcos on food and gas. Not to mention ... smokes and Miller Lite add up ... : (

I think this is the longest blog I've ever written . Right on!

Serious diet starts tomorrow. I know that I say that every week, but I'm serious now. I want to look good for auditions in August. I have 2 months. If I do it healthily, (is that a word?) I can lose 2 pounds a week and still lose my 16 pounds that I want to lose. : )
Wish me luck.

I've also given up smoking, too. It won't be so bad as long as I'm in Snyder, but I have a feeling that as soon as I move back to San Marcos, I'll pick up the addicting habit. I have too many friends there that smoke. Oh, well. I just want to be able to run again. If I can get to the point where I can run AND smoke, that's great. : )

OK. Time for bed. It's almost 4 A.M. Fml.

Nite, nite.

Without you.

Without you, the ground thaws
the rain falls
the grass grows

Without you, the seeds root
the flowers bloom
the children play

The stars gleam
the poets dream
the eagles fly
without you

The Earth turns
the sun burns
but I die, without you

Without you, the breeze warms
the girl smiles
the cloud moves

Without you, the tides change
the boys run
the oceans crash

The crowds roar
the days soar
the babies cry
without you

The moon glows
the river flows
but I die without you

The world revives
colors renew
but I know blue
only blue
lonely blue
willingly blue
Without you

Without you, the hand gropes
the ear hears
the pulse beats

Without you, the eyes gaze
the legs walk
the lungs breathe

The mind churns
the heart yearns
the tears dry without you

Life goes on
but I'm gone
'cause I die
without you...


Be depressed, or be hopeful and try to think positive thoughts (maybe denial)?

I guess think positive thoughts (maybe denial).
Anything's gotta be better than being depressed...

You Learn.

I just got home from S.M. What an interesting week I had ...

I was doing some thinking on the drive back to this hell hole, and though my summer really sucks, I've learned a lot this summer (about myself and life lessons from personal experiences and friends' experiences).

This may get long (just a warning).

- Snyder really is a sad, lame town...
- I have a huge heart.
- I don't love often, but when I do, I love hard (is that the right word?)
- The only person you can truly trust is yourself.
- I'm a good person (better than most people give me credit for).
- I was created to do something in the field of theatre.
- Everyone fucks up. No one is perfect. Even the "good" people fuck up hardcore sometimes.
- I have GREAT friends.
- Money goes away fast ... very fast.
- I'm addicted to cigarettes.
- Cheaters always get busted ... ALWAYS (advice - don't try it).
- I have an obsession with show tunes.
- Nothing makes me happier than a spotless and clean house.
- Snyder is no longer home now; San Marcos is home.
- I try not to be judgmental, but I have no respect for slutty people ...
- Do not leave laptops on floors where dogs can urinate on them ...
- Sleeping in helps makes days shorter ... time pass by.
- Blogging is EXTREMELY therapeutic.
- Trips back to San Marcos are relaxing.
- I abhor craigslist.org
- My mom is seriously psycho and needs help.
- Online classes are a pain in the ass, and I will never take one again.
- I have HUGE trust issues.
- I'm very non-confrontational.
- I'm a people pleaser.
- I really don't care what people think about me anymore.
- I suck at bingo.
- Cramming for a test the night before (in a summer course) is not wise and will result in an 82 (after 15 hours of studying?!?!??!?!)
- I suck at writing research papers ... and writing in general.
- Though I have great friends, I'm alone in this world. That's a scary, scary thought.
- I don't like my family, and I am probably going to hell for saying that. I'm a horrible son... haha.
- I've grown up A LOT. I'm a TOTALLY different person than I was a year ago. I'm glad, though. A change was needed.

There's probably more, but I'm tired of writing.

So, yeah. I've had the worst summer ever, but I've learned a few things.

Later, yo.

HOME.

I am home.

And drunk.

With my best friend.

I am the happiest I've been all summer.

:)

Online classes suck.

Seriously. I will never again take an online class. I really don't understand how my professor expects me to learn 400 pages worth of information in 2 weeks. It's everything from Columbus discovering the Americas to the end of Washington's second term.

My weekend consisted of a 4 page research paper and studying 10 hours for a history test.
FML.

But tomorrow I go home. YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!
:)
I can't wait. As soon as my audition's over on Tuesday, I'm grabbing some Garcia's.

And I think my friends are going to be getting back from South Africa on Tuesday. YAY.

YAY for friends, home, auditions and a break from this hell hole/school.

I could use another cigarette...

Sarah Bareilles = brilliance.
Thank you, Ms. B for being great. :)

I just saw that I'm on a website ... badass! :)

I think I'm in love with Karen Olivo. I bought the new cast recording of West Side Story the other day, and I noticed that a few of the songs were in Spanish (in particular "I Feel Pretty and "A Boy Like That"). After a little research, I saw that it was Olivo's idea to sing "A Boy Like That" in Spanish. In her eyes Anita (the character she plays) is all about Americanizing and changing/adapting to America's ways (the song "America!"). But when her boyfriend gets killed she sings "A Boy Like That" in Spanish as a way of reverting ... something like that. At the beginning of the play (and throughout most of the show) she speaks English, then when tragedy strikes she feels a certain hate towards the American people and reverts back to Spanish. I thought that was so cool and a smart choice as an actress. SO glad she won the Tony.

I wish I could fall asleep at a decent hour.

I thought I had more to blog about. Guess not.

Perhaps I was just bored and felt the need to blog. Whatev.

Night all!

Keep it positive!

A bitch friend of mine bitched at me to blog more, so here goes.

I love the person that I am now ... I just don't fit in in this town. Oh, well! I'm only here for 34 more days. :)

I listen to nothing, but mellow music and musicals now. Haha. LOVE IT.

Currently: Legally Blonde: The Musical. (Hence the title...)

I miss my bestie and other friends. I'm tired of drinking alone.

I have a research paper that's due in 4 days, and I don't know how to start! I have never really written a research paper in my life. How sad?! I got 6 hours of college credit (and now I don't have to take college writing) in high school, but I never wrote a research paper. BOO!

I made my theatre resume today. Yay!

OMG! I saw a preview for a new trashy reality show (that I'll prolly watch) on Bravo! It's called NYC Prep. It's about a bunch of rich teenagers in Prep school. HAHA. It did inspire me to eat healthier, though. The guys on that show wear nice clothes that I want to wear, and if these kids that are younger than me can wear them, I can too!!! It's so weird to watch shows now in which the bitchy teenagers are younger than me. For so long, those kids were always older than me (The OC, Laguna Beach, etc...) I'm getting old. Where's my cane?

My best friend is under a lot of stress. Send good thoughts to him. Most of you that read this know who that is, but to those of you that don't, just send good thoughts to Corey's best friend. :)

I miss last year. I refuse to be one of those kids that gets stuck in the past, but I dooooooooo miss last year.

4 Smirnoffs (that's all that was in my fridge - UGH! =() later ... tired.

Nighty night.

Life on the D-List

I've decided to no longer be bitchy and teen angst-y. It's unhealthy. So, only happy blogs from now on. :)

Wow. It's been a while. Lots to talk about...

First, let me say I love Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. My life will be complete when I meet the bitch. She's HILARIOUS. This episode has Bette Midler on it, too. I used to hate her (Bette) but she's starting to grow on me...

The Tony awards were Sunday night. They're always fun. There were A LOT of performances this year, though. As much as I love musical theatre, I'm not sure how I felt about having so many performances from the shows. The tours' performances (Legally Blonde, Mama Mia, Jersey Boys) were horrible. On another note I was so so so so so happy that Karen Olivo won for West Side Story. I loved her in In the Heights, and saw a clip of her singing "America!" on youtube. Brilliant. :)

I was so proud of the three 12 year olds that won, too. Yay for them.

My throat is killing me, and I couldn't talk yesterday. :/ I stopped smoking for an audition I have that's coming up ... maybe that's why ?

Speaking of ... I have an audition at Zach Scott at 7:31 P.M. on June 16th. I'm excited. It will be fun, and it will be GREAT to get out of this fucking town. YAY!!!

I totally bought the new Hair and West Side Story recordings. YAY!!!

OK, so I thought I had a lot to write about, but I'm coming to blanks now.

Peace.

No clue.

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I need my friends.
I need to be back home.

40 more fucking days.

Trust.

All I can do is trust that everything will be OK. I can do everything possible to insure that it will, but in the end I have to trust.

That's a very, very, very scary thing.

-------------------

I wish I had enough money to go see a therapist.

Weekend was lame.

I have an audition for a show in Austin in 2 weeks, though. Gives me something fun to work on (and it will help keep my mind off of things).

And my friend Adrianna is coming to visit me this weekend. Thank. God.

That's all, folks.

Goodbye for a bit.

I have never been so lost.
I'm not sure of anything.
School.
Career.
Money.
Love.

I trust no one.
I hate my "friends".
I hate my parents.
I hate me.
I have a huge "fuck you!" attitude right now that I don't like.
I just have too much hate in me right now.

I feel abandoned. I have seriously never felt so alone in my life.

And I'm tired of crying.

So, with that said, no blogging for a bit.

Peace.

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe.

When did your heart go missing?

I miss you.

I don't know why I'm being forced to stay in this worthless town. Seriously. I've been in my room since 4 P.M. watching t.v. online, and I got up to get some water 10 minutes ago and found my whole family gone. I have no clue where they went, and I don't care. It gave me privacy to go outside and smoke. :) I'm a horrible son. Ooooh well.

I finally made some money at work today. 54 bucks in 4 hours. Not bad if I say so myself. We've been so slow at the restaurant. Thank God I'm only here for another 47 (yes, I started counting) more days. That restaurant is going downhill FAST.

My college classes really suck. Way too much reading and writing for my taste. I didn't realize this at registration, but the two classes I'm taking (American Lit. & U.S. History) are writing intensive. FML. Oh, well, I had to take them sometime, and it's probably best that I'm taking them at a Ju.Co. Easier and cheaper.

I miss acting. I need friends in this town that would find an evening of beer and reading a play fun. BOO. I suppose I could read a play alone, but reading a play alone and silently is no fun at all.

Speaking of acting, I've started to question my talent lately. Dunno why. And I have no clue what I want to do with my life. I wish I could just perform and make a living. A year ago I thought that I had the potential to do it for a living. Now ... a different story.

I've eliminated junk food from my diet, and (so far) I have been successful. Ask me again in 2 days...

I'm listening to MGMT radio and "Breathe" by The Bravery just came on.
How ... suiting?

I haven't had a beer (or any alcoholic beverage) since I left San Marcos. I have no friends here to drink with. And if I drink alone, I feel like an alcoholic. Ha.

I found out what shows we're doing next year. Maybe I'll try to find the scripts online.

Starting ...
Now.

You know you love me,
XOXO
Corey

Hahahahahaha.
(Bonus points for anyone that understands the last statement).

I could use another cigarette.

I really love Sarah Bareilles. Normally, if I like 4 or 5 songs on a C.D., I'll buy it. I love every single song on her album Little Voices, though. Yay! Check her out if you haven't.

I realized that my address to this blog (sleeplessnights12) sounds like a sleazy porn site. :( I'll be changing that shortly.

My online American Literature course started today. I was supposed to read 12 pages and answer a quiz, but I don't have the book. Oops! Oh, well! My professor said that as long as I had completed the whole week's assignments by Sunday, I would be fine.

I have GOT to start going to bed earlier. I eat at 6. Then I eat again at 2 A.M. I can't help it, though! 8 hours is a LONG time to go without eating. :) But I just ate half of a bag of corn chips. How will I ever lose weight? Geez. Goal for the week: Be in bed by midnight with no computer or t.v.

I recently discovered google maps on my blackberry. I downloaded a package at m.google.com. You all should do the same. Hehe. It includes gmail on your phone. Also, it has some neat gps technology. You can see where your friends are (google maps). So cool! (And weird at the same time...)

God, I just sounded like a total nerd. Is it sad that I surf for free blackberry apps, because I'm bored? Ha.

I failed to hit the gym today. I think I'm just going to go every other day for now, though. Going every day is probably what I should do, but if I do that, I get burned out and just stop going. (Not good).

Oh, my. I'm starting to fall asleep.

Eyes ... are ... shutting ...
Good ... nite ...

Just like heaven

I just signed on to write, and I saw that I had 2 followers. Joy. ;)

I love my late nights of just me, junk food, and Gossip Girl. I have seen every episode, but they never get old. (Can't wait for Season 3). :)

I feel like I'm becoming O.C.D. (or something). My house stays spotless. Anytime I see a mess, I clean it up. I don't know why. I guess it's because seeing my surroundings clean and tidy makes me happy. It's the one thing (that makes me happy) that I can control. Wow. That sounded really sad and angsty, but don't all of these blogs?

I'm not sure I like that word ... blog ... eh.

I bought a new candle yesterday that smells like apple pie. It makes me smile. :)

After one week of work, I have 120 dollars. Not too bad for only working 16 hours (not to mention my paycheck that I get Wednesday). Ah. I've missed waiting tables. It's fun and a great way to make some money fast. I find it to be a great character study as well. There are some weird fucking people in this town...

I just realized that I've only been away from my home for a week. *sigh*. 1 week down, 8 more to go.

I cleaned out my closet today. I realized that I had WAY TOO MANY SHIRTS in there, half of which I never wear, so I shuffled through all of them. I also realized that half of those shirts failed to stretch around this gut that I'm currently sporting. So after taking 30 some-odd shirts out of my closet, I decided to hit the gym. I didn't lift, but I DID manage to do 35 minutes of cardio. That elliptical kicked my ass, but I was proud ... 4 hours later I ate a piece of German chocolate cake. Oops. fml.


This blog is too long. Tomorrow's my day off. Yay. I have all day to clean. or blog. Blogging (along with cleaning) makes me happy. Don't be surprised if I get a little blog crazy with all this free time. Hmm... maybe I should start writing a play instead of blogging. Perhaps it will make me famous. It works for some ... nah. :)

Peace.

... that word (blog) just really bothers me ...

Ave. Rage.

Is it sad when the only thing I look forward to every day is sleep?

The thing that's even more sad? I have trouble sleeping every single night.

This town has nothing to offer me. at. all. And I will never spend an entire summer here again. Why should I? It's a total waste of time. Sure, I'm getting to spend some time with the family, but 2 months? A little too much fam time for me. And sure, I'm getting to work and save money (without having to worry about paying for food or rent) but the money is NOT that good.

Being all alone makes me think a lot. I desperately need to find a new hobby. Any suggestions?

Since I have 0 friends in this town, I've been bored a lot, and when I'm bored I eat (A LOT). Which does absolutely nothing for my body. Speaking of which, I've had low self esteem (or is it confidence? or both?) lately. I need to do something to change that as well. Again, any suggestions?

Eh. It's late. I have to wake up for work in 9 hours, and it will take me at least an hour to fall asleep (after tossing and turning multiple times.)

Nite.

I close my eyes, and I smile knowing that everything is all right.

A good friend of mine started one of these, and I thought, "Why not?" It will help cure my boredom.

I'm home for the summer. I left my home and my life in San Marky on Sunday, and it sucks to say the least. I miss my real home, my town, my school, my friends, my dog, Scrabble, and late nights of Will&Grace and Sex and the City. I miss you.

On a more positive note, I start work tomorrow at 5 P.M. That should help ... I guess. At least I'll have some cash-flow. I despise money, but it's good to have.

I've never been much of a blogger, so don't expect these entries to be very long. It's late. 817 games of solitaire and 116 songs on Jason Mraz Radio (Thank you, Pandora) later, I'm finally sleepy. The sad thing is it's 2 A.M. Is that normal? To not get tired until 2 A.M.? (and sometimes 3 or 4.) I've been having trouble sleeping. Perhaps some Tylenol P.M. would help my little problem... Blah.

Again, it's late.

I'll write more later. Which probably means tomorrow, because I'll be bored out of my mind. :)